A Slight Identity Crisis
by Alia D
Summary: A secret comes out. Will Severus find peace with himself or allow his world to collapse? slash, hints of mpreg


Title: A Slight Identity Crisis

Author: Alia

Rating: R

Status: Complete

Part: 1/1

Pairing: Surprise

Spoilers: the whole series

Summary: A secret comes out

Warnings: Language, angst, mpreg

Disclaimer: I wish I owned but I don't. So there.

Author's Note: This pretty much came from a dream I had during midterms. Just so you'd know. Also this is UNBETAED. I'll try to post the betaed version later. I just wanted it up now. Sorry if something is inaccurate.

Author's Note 2: This is what happens when you have midterms. This is what happens when you eat applesauce after being awake for over 24 hours. This is what happens when I get really pissy. And guess what…you're the poor bastards that have to deal with it. Sorry.

A Slight Identity Crisis

Severus Snape gave a rare sight as he sat in his large chair before the fireplace in his room. He was smiling softly.

In the potions master's lap laid a small box that had been delivered to him just today by owl. It was rather small, as long and as wide as his hands. The dark mahogany was rather thick with deep etchings along the top and sides of the box. There was no other color on the wood than the small diamond that glistened in the center of the top.

Snape had been rather surprised to see the package delivered from Gringotts as he'd had no other business with them than the usual withdraw from the bank. But apparently, it had been his mother's last request that he received this package after his 40th birthday, which was yesterday.

Severus had to wonder why wait till his 40th. His mother, Xenavia Snape, had died during the end of his fourth year at Hogwarts from a rather serious illness. Why would she wait so long to have this sent to him?

Not that he was too upset by the wait. He'd give anything to have even a piece of her in his life. When Severus had gone back for his fifth year, his father, in his grief, had burned all her things so that he couldn't be reminded of his loss. The small box meant everything to Severus at the moment. It had once been his mother's jewelry box.

He'd been rather hesitant to open it, afraid that his expectations would be too high. Snape took a deep breath. ((_It's not as if I have anything planned for the night._)) Severus had no plans on going to dinner that night. It was two days after the beginning of a new year at Hogwarts and Dumbledore had actually hired the-boy-who-thrived-on-luck, also known as Harry Potter, to be the new Defense Against Dark Arts professor. Keeping his promise to be 'nice' to Potter, he either ignored the young man or avoided him unless necessary.

The potions master stroked his right hand across the box. He decided to open it. The box had a top that lifted off, leaving the contents inside to Severus's view. He gasped as he saw what lay atop it all.

In a small picture, was Xenavia Snape holding a dark haired child who looked no more than two in her lap. It was rather obvious who the baby was. Severus quickly squashed the small voice that said he was a cute child. Xenavia looked up at Severus and smiled brightly. She had been a rather plain woman but she'd been intelligent and rather witty from Severus's memory. Mrs. Snape had been a good woman despite her ordinary looks.

Sitting the picture aside carefully on the table beside him, he smirked at the next photograph. It was of a rather soaking wet Severus being chased by his equally soaked father, Tobias Snape. From what Severus remembered, it had been his eighth birthday; he and his father had 'slipped' into the nearby pond. His smirked turned into a sad smile as he remembered his father. The man had lost his will to live after Severus's mother had died. The man had tried to care for his son, the only thing truly left of his wife but he'd eventually died despite his courage. Severus had been sent to a distant relative, who would unfortunately be responsible for a great deal of Severus's troubles in the future.

Placing it aside, he found another photograph, a family portrait really. He was older, about eleven. ((_They took this before I left for Hogwarts. What a wreck I was at the time._))The young Severus in the picture was smiling nervously while his mother smiled at the camera. Severus's father chuckled at both his wife and son. ((_So very long ago._)) His mind whispered.

He moved that photo aside with the others while noticing that that was it for pictures. He wished there had been more but he was happy with what he had. There was more if not a lot. At the bottom of his mother's box was a letter and small locket.

Curious, Severus opened the locket and his eyes widened. A shrunken pensieve. ((_WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME!_)) How had his mother gotten a hold of something like this? Not only where these shrunken pensieves rare, but any type of shrunken pensieve was illegal as well.

Looking closely, Severus could see on string of memories in the locket. While tempted too look, Severus decided to read the letter first. Inside was a letter and another envelope.

Snape opened the letter. It was in his mother's delicate handwriting.

**_Severus_**

**_I'm not sure how I should explain this, but like your father says, I've always been blunt so I won't dally with you. Severus, what is in the pensieve will come as a bit of a shock to you. To be quite frank I never wanted you to know, not after finding out some things, but your father hates lies and so do I. Gods, I don't know what to say. Your father and I love you so much Severus._**

He frowned at the letter. ((_I don't like this._))

**_Please don't forget that my baby. Inside the pensieve is information both your father and I have kept from you for all this time. We thought it was for the best but as I sit here writing this I'm not so sure. Severus, no matter what you learn, your father and I love you and we want you to always think of us as your parents. No matter, what you learn, I love you and hope you forgive us for any wrong we've done._**

**_Your mother, Xenavia_**

Severus felt ill. ((_What did she mean by that last bit?_)) His hand shaking slightly, Severus picked up the small locket and went inside.

* * *

He blinked as he saw his mother burst into the doors of what looked like a guest room in Snape Manor. A bowl of water and an abundance of towels were in her arms. His father knelt on the bed before another figure that was screaming in pain and from what Severus could tell of the man's body, was obviously in labor. The man's face was to the side and covered with his sweat-matted hair. It was impossible to see who he was.

* * *

The scene flickered leaving his mother standing before a hunched over figure. A rough voice came from the cloaked man before him. "Let me pass." 

She shook her head. "NO. I can't. How can you just abandon him? He's your child!"

"I cannot and will not keep him. I will not HAVE him!" The man said with vehemence in his voice.

"Why not!" screamed Xenavia, obviously frustrated and confused.

"Because I will not have anything to do with that bastard that is his father's child! His father didn't want us. And I can't get back at him with some brat running behind me!"

Xenavia shook her head furiously. "But-,"

"If you care for the brat so woman, then keep him."

"We can't. I can't! He is not my child but yours. Did you not bear him? Did you not see him! He has your eyes! Your skin-,"

"But he has his father's hair though darker, but he is a part of that wretched creature that bedded me!" He pushed Xenavia roughly out of the way. "If you want the bastard then place a charm on the boy that he may look like yours, otherwise do with him what you will. I have better things to do." With that he stormed from the manor.

* * *

The scene shifted again. Tobias Snape sat on the rug before a fireplace feeding a small infant. The child had startling dark blue eyes and the hair on his head seemed black but with a slight accent of red. Tobias Snape cooed and smiled at the infant. 

Severus turned to watch his mother walk in with a blue piece of parchment that was wrapped up. After the last scene he felt sick and frightened, now he was utterly terrified about the answers that his mind were coming up with. Tobias looked up at his wife. "You have his birth certificate?"

"Yes, it just arrived." With home pregnancies, wizarding birth certificates were delivered at home.

"So. Open it."

"I don't know about this, Tobias. He doesn't want the child. I fear what he would do if we tried to find him and he said the babe's father doesn't want him."

"Xenavia…" He sighed heavily.

"We cannot have our own children. Perhaps we should consider this a blessing."

"Even if we did do the charm, what if he finds out? Does he not deserve to know the truth?" He kept his voice calm as the baby in his arms squirmed.

"It will not come to that for some time!"

"Xenavia!" her husband snapped.

"Please!" she pleaded softly, her eyes focusing on the child.

Tobias looked contemplative before nodding. "Very well. We shall keep him as our own and do the charm."

Xenavia smiled at him.

"However, he will find out the truth someday. I don't like lies."

She nodded her eyes still focused on the baby. "What shall we call him?"

"I always liked your father's name."

She laughed, "Severus, it is."

* * *

Snape found himself outside of the pensieve and on his knees on the floor, the box knocked aside. ((_I-I-but-I don't UNDERSTAND!_))Not that it was very difficult to understand. The two people he'd thought were his parents for years…weren't his parents. ((_Oh sweet Merlin._)) 

He quickly grabbed the other envelope and ripped it open. Two items fell out. A short note and a rolled up piece of blue parchment. He looked at the note first.

**_Dear Severus _**

**_We decided that it would be up to you to see who your parents are. We always thought that it was your business more than ours for our decision had been made. If you wish to look for them and we are still in this world then we will help you. If we aren't alive, we both wish you the best. We love you._**

**_Tobias and Xenavia Snape_**

((Oh gods. Oh Gods!)) He found himself shaking all over as the realization came over him. He wasn't a Snape. Well not by blood and it was apparent his parents- ((Can I even call them that?))- didn't care about that. Severus buried his head in his hands and just tried not to 'think'. It would only make matters worse. 

Some time later, the potions master finally looked up. Tobias and Xenavia obviously loved him despite the fact that his blood wanted nothing to do with him. That, he knew, was what he needed to remember despite everything else.

Severus looked over at the little parchment. Did he really want to know who they were? Was it really that important? ((_Curse it but yes._))He needed to know who they were. Maybe so he could satisfy his curiosity or even so that he could find some answers. He wasn't sure why but he needed to know.

He picked up the parchment but as he undid the small blue ribbon around it, his hands remained surprisingly steady. Tossing the ribbon aside, Snape took a deep breath. _Now…_ He opened the parchment and choked on the barely contained scream. ((_…no…no it's not possible…this is a lie, some fucking horrible joke…not them…NOT THEM!_))

He didn't know how but he found himself just moments later racing toward the Great Hall, the blue parchment in his hand and murder in his eyes. The few students in way quickly rushed to side, some crying out in fear at the wild look in Snape's eyes.

When the doors of the Great Hall were thrown open, slamming against the walls behind them, some students cried out in surprised. All heads immediately snapped up. All but the teachers froze in their seats afraid to breathe.

Snape entered the Great Hall slowly with a calm that he shouldn't have possessed, because the wizard looked as if Scratch himself had possessed him. He seemed as if he weren't moving on his own power because though he walked slowly, calmly, his movements seemed almost jerky.

Dumbledore stood with a worried look in his blue eyes. The other teachers stood, some with concern, others with caution. "Professor Snape? Are you alright?"

Severus stopped and just stood for a moment. He dropped his head and his hair came around like a shroud to hide his face. When Dumbledore called him again, a dark chuckled echoed through the room, as the children were silent.

McGonagall shivered as the chuckle went through the Great Hall. She had never been so afraid in her life. There was something…wrong about Severus's laugh. Minerva heard a laugh like that only once. It had been when Voldemort had stood there laughing and taunting Harry Potter three years ago at the final battle.

"Severus! Child, are you alright?"

The chuckle was heard again sending slivers off fear into them all. "…child, Headmaster? Am I a child? Just turning forty and a child." The chuckle became an uproarious laugh but it only served to frighten those around him even more.

"Severus," whispered Albus.

"Indeed I am a child," he laughed. The laughter cut itself off abruptly as Severus Snape looked up at him. Albus was taken aback at the cold fury and pure hatred that radiated from Severus's eyes.

"Tell me, Headmaster," asked Severus in a soft voice. He cocked his head to the side slightly. "Do you know whose child I am?" He held up the small parchment still clenched in his hands.

Dumbledore's chest tightened and his eyes closed in defeat. "Severus, child, listen to me." Wrong move.

Severus's hands clenched tightly and the students closest to their professor could see a few drops of blood dripping from the potions master's hands. "You knew…you bastard…you knew…" Severus was practically growling in his anger, in his hatred of the man before them.

Albus flinched as he realized what a bad move he made. "My boy-,"

"Quite obviously I AM your boy, bastard!" He eyes slammed shut before opening a moment later. "How long…how long have you know you're my father?"

The gasps in the Great Hall shocked them all. Dumbledore ignored them as he walked around the Head Table and toward Severus. "Severus, let me explain."

"Oh I think that my 'mother'," he spat out the word like a curse, "gave my parents an adequate answer." He grinned darkly. "Tell me. Did you tell him to abort when you found out he was pregnant with your bastard? Or were just happy to sweep the trash from your door?"

Dumbledore's eyes widened but again he ignored the shocked responses around him to continue talking to Severus. "Severus, it wasn't like that!"

"Then how else can you explain it, because he was very eager to get revenge against you! Now tell me how long did you KNOW!"

Albus closed his eyes. "Since the day you stepped into Hogwarts. I saw through the Snapes' glamour. You looked…just like your-,"

"You bastard." Severus felt as if Dumbledore had just crushed him. His eyes were wide with disbelief. "You knew all that time…and you never said a word. How could you? Did you hate him so much?"

"No, Severus!"

"You must have because you punished me for it! Did every wrong he commit have to be punished upon me! When you let the Marauders get away with everything against me! When you let me be dragged into the living nightmares that you knew awaited me when Tobias died! When you wronged me again and again, did it all have to do with my father!" He screamed with anger, hatred and pain. Severus felt that he was being a bit irrational but what Dumbledore had done and kept silent about was unforgivable. "I am your SON. Your BLOOD!" He shook his head and yanked himself away as Dumbledore tried to touch him.

Dumbledore stood before him crying trying to explain, "Severus, please. I did make a mistake. With both you and your father but child I am sorry."

Severus found himself suddenly going cold. "Yes…you are very sorry aren't you old man." Severus turned and walked away saying, "I am not your child nor his. Consider your child dead."

"Severus, I do admit that you are my son!"

"I am not!" he yelled without turning around though he stopped. "My mother is Xenavia Snape, my father Tobias Snape. Your son is dead Dumbledore." He turned toward his Slytherins and bowed. "I fear House of the Snakes, that I will have to take leave of you. Forgive me." With that Severus stormed from the Great Hall.

Hooch and Sinistra, two people that actually considered themselves Snape's friends, rushed from the Great Hall after the professor. The children were in an uproar at the news and some of the teachers quickly began escorting them from the Great Hall in a somewhat orderly fashion. A few of the other teachers stood there still in shock. Harry Potter was one of them as he stood stunned at the Head Table.

Dumbledore…Albus Dumbledore, leader of the Order of the Phoenix, Headmaster of Hogwarts and so many other titles…was the father of Severus Snape, Potions Master and former Deatheater. Harry shook his head because he was honestly blown away. He looked at Dumbledore who now sat at an empty table with McGonagall sitting beside him trying to offer comfort to the distraught wizard.

Harry looked at the wizard and felt angry merely on Snape's behalf. The one person Harry hated even now and the young man felt for the potions master. Harry had lost his father so young, not even knowing the man. And, going by what he heard, the young Severus could have used another father desperately when Tobias Snape died. Dropping his eyes, Harry walked from the Great Hall finding himself lost in a way he hadn't felt since Sirius died.

Hooch and Sinistra stood at the door of Severus's room calling for the professor to come out. "Severus, please open the door." Hooch cursed at the silence.

Sinistra glared at the door. "He just can't be like everyone else. He has to have an actual bloody door instead of a portrait!"

"Paranoia does that to people. Severus Snape open this door right now!"

Both jumped when the door swung open. Snape glowered. "If you're so fucking insistent on helping then come help!" He turned back into his rooms, Sinistra and Hooch following.

Sinistra gasped. "You're packing up."

"No actually, I thought a little spring cleaning would do wonders for the place!" snarled Severus.

Hooch shifted from foot to foot as she watched clothes fold themselves into a large trunk and books shrink into another. "Is it true? Is Dumbledore…" She trailed off.

Severus sighed. "By blood only but yes."

Sinistra frowned. "Severus, who is your mother?"

He growled at his friend. "That person is dead and that is all that matters. Now will you help me pack or not?"

"Do you have to leave?" asked the Astronomy professor.

"I can't stay here…not with him here as well."

At their friend's whispered words, Sinistra and Hooch helped him pack.

It was only a few hours later that Severus stood at the front doors of Hogwarts. Severus was giving Sinistra advice on taking care of his Slytherins before he left. "I'll take good care of them Snape."

"You had better." After making sure Hooch had his resignation, he turned to leave as his things had been sent ahead to Snape Manor.

"Severus."

The wizard cursed as he turned to see the older man. Dumbledore stood before him looking all of his years. "I have nothing to say to you Headmaster."

"Please," he whispered with all the pain he felt. "I know I did wrong but can you please give me a chance?" The older man looked utterly defeated, eyes red and shoulders slumped. McGonagall and a few of the others, Potter, Flitwick, Sprout, and Vector stood behind him watching.

Severus took a good look at Dumbledore before shaking his head negatively. "I don't have it in me to give you a chance that you never gave me." He turned and walked out the door toward the gates and then apparated to Snape Manor.

Finally getting home, he went immediately to the library in his home and started a fire. He sat before the same fireplace his father fed him when he'd been a babe, when he'd been…

Severus picked up the small parchment he'd pocketed while he was packing at Hogwarts. He knew, now that he'd calmed, there would be hell to pay about confronting Dumbledore in the Great Hall with his secret. The Wizarding World would be dying to know who his 'mother' was. But if the old man gave a damn about his 'son' he'd make sure those records were either changed or destroyed for Severus's safety.

He sighed and looked at the corner where a portrait lay of his mother and father, both sleeping at the moment. He tossed the blue parchment into the fire without looking. He stood to wake up his parents.

In the fire burned a parchment that bore the name Severus Snape in the spot of baby's name. In the spot for adoptive parents were Xenavia and Tobias Snape. In the place for paternal father was Albus Dumbledore. Maternal mother read Tom Marvolo Riddle.

THE END

Review. Let me see what you think. Be honest I can take it. And if I get enough...(shrugs) you never know.


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